Fuck Yeah! Peter Cook

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore - Superstitions

• PETE: If you ask me, there must be something in this occult business. You remember my Uncle Bert?
• DUD: Very vaguely.
• PETE: That's how people remember him, very vaguely, my Uncle Bert. Well, one day he was in the kitchen. He'd just finished having tea, you know, like you or me, and he was just about to place the milk in the fridge when suddenly this black cat ran in front of him. Of course, what he should have done is stood on his head, thrown the milk backwards and crossed himself to avoid evil spirits. Well, he was very late for the pictures so he didn't take any precautions and sure enough seven years, four months, and three days later he was run down by a bus.
• DUD: That shows you, Pete, you can't ignore the omens.
• PETE: You mustn't ignore the omens, no. Of course, Uncle Bert, he used to dabble in the occult, especially during the warm weather. I remember once, it must have been the summer of 1953, a blazing hot afternoon, I just come down the stairs and I went into the sitting room and there was Uncle Bert, sitting there, with all the heavy velvet curtains drawn. You remember those heavy velvet curtains they used to have?
• DUD: Very vaguely.
• PETE: Well they were drawn, fairly distinctively, and he was sitting there in the dark. So I said, 'I'm sorry to disturb you, Uncle Burt', and he said, 'Oh no, come on in, Pete. I'm looking into the secrets of the future'. So I sat down. He had these amazing tarot cards, you know the tarot cards. He was taking one tarot out after the other, throwing it on the table and predicting the future, it was quite incredible, Dud. He said, 'During the next ten years an amazingly important event will occur.' Sure enough four years later, World War II broke out. And that wasn't the only thing. You want to know what he said as well?
• DUD: Yer.
• PETE: He said, 'The weather is going to be unpredictable'. He predicted that years before it happened.